Sunday, June 27, 2010

My Past

 I looked back through the posts and realized that I never took the time to write out my story. I don't know maybe it is one story, maybe it is many. I have a professional life, what I have done to make money. I have my hobby life, what I have done for fun. I have my spiritual life, where God and I intersect. I have my family life, where those people that have to be around me and I intersect. While they are all separate they are not incongruent. They fit together like one is the light of a movie, another is the sound, the third the motion.

 One.

 The one that is most important is the spiritual.

 For years now I have prayed "Thy will be done." This has come out of the fact that I noticed that when saying the Lords prayer the convenient place of needing to take a breath is exactly at that phrase. How convenient.... For years I took that prayer to be God you are great, take care of me.

 God your will be done.

 That phrase has changed my life, it has warned me of chipmunks and given me deer.  It has taken me to  India, It has given me a restless spirit longing for a home.  It has left me excited and scared again and again.

 I am amazed how the more I pray that one line of prayer the more times Jesus is intersecting in my life.  But not everything is ultra spiritual.  Not everything is the mountain top experience with the perfect and nothing but being surrounded by the glowing goodness of God.

 What are my mountaintop moments?  In the order of time, these are the ones that I remember.  Each one is a story in itself.  Some I have already blogged about, others only friends know.

 Being prayed for by four ladies speaking in tongues.
 Admitting my sin, that I could not do life on my own and needed the Holy Spirit in my life now, and Jesus is the Savior of me and the world.
 Being commissioned by God as I left college.
 Buying a house and fixing it up, only to sell it at a financial loss.
 The call to go to Chennai for a year.
 The chipmunk and so many other things of faith building.
 Attending the church I now attend.
 This future plan that I do not understand and am scared to pursue.

 I am scared to pursue it because of the scars in my life.  The sin I still have and hold onto.  The knowledge that what I am thinking of is HUGE.  Beyond my control, beyond anyones control.  But again I am reminded that my sin is my past, my sin is forgiven, my sins are forgiven.  My future IS bigger than I can handle.  But it really is not my future.  It is GOD'S future.  I have been praying for God's will to be done, and he wants to get started with HIS future.

1 comment:

About Us said...

Hi Ryan, you left me a comment about another blog on the Sweet Potatoes post and I accidently deleted it in the confusion of switching everything over. Could you come over and share it again?

thank you!