Tuesday, December 11, 2007


Right now in our office we are doing a secret santa between different people, a little gift every day. Right now I have an apple on my desk. Pushing all my pessimism out the window I say I am happy, I am glad I have an apple, a gift, apples taste good, and I will peal the skin off and eat it... later, right now I am looking at it and smiling that I got a gift.

Some of the people are trying to figure out who is giving to them, others asking why they do not get something each morning... I am happy to receive. I am happy to give, disappointed when I see my gift given to another, that tells me I do not know my charge very well. :(

For several years I and I know many others have been trying to figure out this whole holiday gift giving thing. Frustrated by giving to each and every person and getting back in return. The economy is hinged on this season and the need to give and be given to... even if there is no heart in the gift.***

How can we say I love and respect you so much I did not buy you anything. Yet I did buy something for everyone else around you? I just sent a box to the states it has a gift in it for everyone but my father. We went out of our way to buy a gift for a seven year old because her brother had something in the box. But I have not given to my dad.

What if that was the case for me.** I am such a pathetic person unable to receive a gift well, Nancy is thinking of getting me a carved elephant that I kinda want, unlike many other elephants this one has both the body and head hollowed out so the whole body is a lace of stone (all others i have seen have been the body only.) Last night Nancy flat out asked if I would be happy if I got it. The truth is no... i did not buy it then because the craftsmanship was not what I desired, for me to appreciate it I would need to go see many other carved elephants to know that the craftsmanship is on par. Then and only then would I really appreciate the gift.

So I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place. I have trouble giving good gifts, I have trouble getting gifts.

Now one thing I plan to do is give to our friends in the slum, thinking many articles of clothing and other stuff... but will that be good? It is to those that can not give back equally. But will I give the right stuff?

Someone needs to write a manual on how to give and how to receive. I can tell you it would be a best seller. It would be even better if it was a Christ based book. I know I would buy it.

***Actually there is some heart in just trying... that only works when received well
**That happened last year, we drew names and while I got every gift I was supposed to I was dumbfounded by not getting anything from my brother.
*There is even a movie I might see if I was in the states.

No comments: